Woe Betide Poor Old Park Row! Newspapers' Finish Is in Sight if Tesla's Dream Comes True

Once More the Greatest Electrical Inventor in the World ('Rah,'Rah,'Rah!) Has Brought Forth Something That Is Going to Do Something — Maybe.

Nikola Tesla, the hibernating wizard of electrology, has again left his cave, at Wardenclyffe, Long Island, and appeared with a world-beating idea.

In brief, it is a telegraphic instrument dependable upon no wire more concrete than the currents of the earth and sea. It will be nothing but a small box, which, when placed upon the ground, will become a receiving and transmitting station.

Its first demonstration will be, according to some of Mr. Tesla's admirers, the destruction of all newspapers. Mr. Tesla is pitiless.

How the Ideas Comes to Him.

These beautiful ideas of Mr. Tesla's all come to him while he is lying on his back in the salt water. Neptune is so proud of his guest's preference for salt water as Summer environment that he feeds him with the accumulated wisdom of all the men who have gone down to the sea in ships.

Newspapers, on the contrary, have no tutelary god to aid them in their approaching struggle for existence. There does not appear to be a loophole for the fated journals of the world to slip through the meshes of the net of fate.

Who will buy a newspaper when discoveries made in Colorado, he says, showed him that the earth is a conductor of limited dimensions, and that it is possible to impress upon the whole globe the faint modulations of the human voice? Having determined these basic facts, Mr. Tesla says he set himself to work to develop a magnifying transmitter which will put all newspaper enterprises where Nineveh now is.

Just Think of the Benefits!

To hear at first hand the accents of a favorite actor or an ecclesiastical condemnation by Parkhurst. To know in Herkimer County exactly what has been accomplished by a Republican convention almost before Mr. Platt knows.

It is that phrase, "the sound of the human voice," which has awakened such a clamor of approval for Mr. Tesla's idea. No sort or condition of man is invulnerable to the temptation to be. heard around the habitable globe.

Some have suggested that there will be no listeners. This is conceded to be a real difficulty, but is not regarded as insuperable by the gifted inventor.

The fall in journalistic securities was heavy and instant on the dissemination of the news. The editorial room of this newspaper is at the moment of writing a scene of piteous confusion.

Already three reporters have accepted situations as musical directors in theatrical companies and two editors will accept major generalships in the Japanese Army.

Park Row in a Panic.

Downtown the situation is hardly less intense. Dolan's shutters are not up. but his prices are turned skyward and the rush to cash pay checks at the Times Cafe has not been equaled in years.

A delegation of publishers will leave for Wardencliff tomorrow to buy Tesla off, with the promise of a pure reading notice with a beautiful line cut portrait.