Nikola Tesla - "The Greatest Discovery of the Age" Poem & Recent News

When England set her navy afloat upon the sea,
She had no anticipation of my great discovery,
For ’tis I, the only I, that have made her ships but scrap.
Any nation now may whip her, e’en the smallest on the map,
By “the greatest discovery of the age.”

For the blowing up of navies will now be only fun.
An exertion of my will or thought and, lo! the thing is done!
I’ve combined a wireless telegraph and torpedo dirigible
In so evident a fashion, some say not patentable,
My “greatest discovery of the age.”

I care not if the whole shebang was generally known,
I’ll be very much offended if ’tis not now my own.
I’m a Christian and philosopher, as I have truly said;
The laurels of undying fame are resting on my head
For “the greatest discovery of the age.”

And when I am offended, my forgiveness is complete
When I get a full apology, with humbleness replete.
I’ve put a stop to wars, but do not rest my claim
On such a simple act as that for everlasting fame.
My super-extra glory rests upon the arts of peace,
I’m in for killing whales and sich and getting at their grease
By my “greatest discovery of the age.”

I’m so struck on this my latest that my brain it fairly reels,
And my head it gets to spinning as if ’twere hung on wheels.
I had an oscillator once, a tuneful dynamo,
A revolution ’twas to make, by vibrating to and fro.
’Twas a very great discovery of the age.

But it died ere it was born and resteth as a myth,
And its name now means some coils I experimented with
As another great invention of the age.

To shake the charge of mother earth, another scheme of mine
Beats thunderstorms and earthquakes, all along the line.
But wait till 1900. O, won’t the people talk,
When I blow up stuff at Paris, when I think so at New York,
By my “greatest discovery of the age!”

I’ve labored with high frequency to publish and proclaim
That I own some great discoveries, connected with my name;
By high-potential discourse I’ve tried to bring to light
That there weren’t any others who contributed a mite
To such very great discoveries of the age.

But the shade of Cabanellas, and of many others too,
Are upsetting my endeavors, and proving my hoodoo.
I content myself in this, that the papers of the day
Will print my schemes sensational and boom me by the way
As “the greatest discovery of the age.”

Electricity’s Mystery

[From Collier’s Weekly.]

Mr. Tesla’s announcement that he is prepared to destroy a ship by means of electricity, yet not by means of wires, has been received with cheerful incredulity. It is a bountiful Providence which has enabled man to ridicule what he does not understand. Ridicule has been the prelude of every great invention. It has crooned at its cradle. But though it came to jeer, again and again it has remained to stare. That is as it should be. The beginning of truth is amazement. But in this case, as in all others, the proof of the pudding is in the eating. The value of Mr. Tesla’s process remains to be shown. Just at present it is a mystery. Yet, so also is electricity. No marvel which electricity has worked is as marvelous as electricity itself. To call it a mystery, though, is a misuse of language. Correctly speaking, there is no such thing; but there is ignorance, and it is in a manner both delightful and flattering to general self-esteem that the one is confused with the other. In the chartless morrow which the future has in charge it is not extravagant to assume that ignorance will evaporate, knowledge become exact, that electricity will yield its secret, and perhaps for those who then live fathom the recesses of the sky. From a servant it may develop into a confidant; it may tell of its wanderings, of its conception, of its sudden avatars and all that it has seen. But this is conjecture. The point is, that in manipulating it, with a wire or without, there is a difference in degree rather than in kind.

Treatment of Inventors

[From the Mansfield, O, News.]

Tesla, the electrician, whose promises excel his performances, has been having a few words with the editor of an electrical journal and has come out second best. If he thus fares with one of the brethren in his own line troublous times are ahead for him if he tackles the laymen of the press, who are ever ready to give the glad hand to an inventor who invents, but who are rather merciless on those long on talk and short on deeds, whether they be inventors or politicians.

Tesla’s Fears

[From the Anaconda, Mont., Standard.]

Tesla has satisfied himself and is trying to satisfy others that he has discovered a principle, the application of which ‘must produce a profound change in things and conditions presently existing.’ Tesla’s only fear is that his invention will be used by men for evil purposes - that, like the invention of gunpowder, it will not be an unmixed good to the world. But it is a comfort to him to know that, for one thing, it will abolish war.

Tesla’s Romances

[From the Minneapolis Times]

Tesla has administered a severe scolding to the editor of an electrical journal, who intimated that Mr. Tesla might find it profitable to give his imagination a rest and finish up some of the wonderful things he has set out to do. In these days of scientific miracles it isn’t safe to be skeptical, but some of those announcements of Tesla’s read as if they might have been inspired by the product of the poppy in the pipe.